Times like these call to mind the esteemed classic Skinny Legs and All, in which we become familiar with Dirty Sock and Zen. The character Dirty Sock espouses the idea that when things seem hopeless, truly truly hopeless, things will somehow take a turn for the better, and our waterlogged selves will get caught in a swirling eddy that will spit us out onto a log, thereby saving our lives. 
 
Now, we’ve seen absolutely fuck all evidence that this is true, but hell, hope springs eternal. At the very least, our (ahem) award-winning marmalade will help us achieve a calming state of Zen, and life will be better in that oh-so-brief shining moment. Until we run out.