With this delicious rendition of a holiday classic, we’ve gone from “hmm, mayhap this has a wee nip of alcohol in it” to “holy shit this has a fuckton of booze.”  We’re not screwing around anymore with namby-pamby holiday accompaniments. Hell no. With cranberries, oranges, top-shelf liqueur and a hint of spices, our cranberry sauce takes no prisoners and is solidly on Team Adult Table.


Or, what would be the Adult Table if we weren't in the midst of a raging pandemic, compliments of the Dotard-in-Chief who completely bungled any containment of it from the start. As a result, we're now in the Land of Exponential Growth, folks, and it's not pretty. And it's going to get worse. Stay the fuck at home. Really.


On the plus side, that means you get all the boozy cranberry sauce to yourself, and you won't have to deal with any moronic trump supporters who are still calling the RAGING PANDEMIC a hoax. Win-win?

It's Cranberry Sauce Season, Covid Version

  • A 6oz jar of sauce/relish/preserves with cranberries, sugar, brown sugar, orange, orange juice, allspice, cinnamon, ginger, Patron Citronge orange liqueur.