We're bringing out our Election Night version of the Emergency Bloody Mary Kit early, because.....what....the....ever-loving.....fuck. Even Billy Joel couldn't cram all of this into one song, unless that song is American Pie.


We have the $750 tax returns, the shitshow debate, the white supremacists celebrating the president being on their side, 205K dead from Covid and numbers climbing and states like WI at code red status, and oh yeah, the Dotard and his pornstar grifter wife testing positive for the virus he's played down for months.


We don't know about you all, but we're just going to be IV-ing alcohol for the next month or so, when hopefully this all-American shitshow will be over.

Election Night Emergency Bloody Mary Kit

  • This box contains: a 16oz jar of BeBest Bloody Mary Mix, an 8oz jar of Bloody Mary Pickles, a 6oz jar of Pickled Pearl Onions, a 6oz jar of Slim Gin Pickins, a 4oz jar of Umami Powder, and a 50ml bottle of Finlandia vodka.